1. I took an online PE class in high school.
2. I didn't try out for the basketball team in high school because I was so insecure with myself and my abilities.
3. I dropped my exercise science class in college so I didn't have to run the mile.
4. I changed my major from exercise science in college because I didn't want to take the fitness classes it required to get it.
Believe it or not, all of those statements are TRUE! In high school I was so insecure and uncomfortable with myself that the thought of taking a PE class and having to be physically active with others TERRIFIED me. I dropped the one PE class I was signed up for and found an online one that I could substitute for.
In high school I loved basketball and I had played it the majority of my life. I was going to try out for the high school basketball team in my new school and was so excited about it. I went to the first practice and was so embarrassed I couldn't even function and play in front of the others. I never went back. I did end up playing softball and that was great for me- a lot less running and reasons for me to be insecure. I still kick myself every day for not having The courage to stick it out and try out for the basketball team.
When I had my exercise class in college I was so excited for it and then I found out we had to run as a class on the track every week. I didn't drop the class before we had to run the first mile. I did it with the class and I went home and CRIED. I was SO embarrassed and mad at myself for not being able to run the whole thing. I walked most of it.
I loved my exercise science major my first semester and then I realize that I would have to do more physical exercise classes in order to get my degree. That was a big factor in me deciding to switch my major. I didn't like to be physically active in front of others and it terrified me to think that I couldn't do what OTHERS could do.
In all of this I was so caught up in comparing myself to others. I was so insecure myself and my abilities. At this time I was also really struggling with my Crohn's disease. That brought a lot of depression and insecurities that added to the pile. My self-worth and view of myself was so low.
I honestly can't tell you what pulled me out of my lull. A couple semesters into college I started running 5K's and got a membership to the gym. I pulled out my exercise DVDs and started a support group with some girls in my ward and other friends. I even ended up climbing the South Teton. All of those things were HUGE for me. My self-confidence started increase and I started to have BELIEF in myself. I'm sure a lot of it had to do with my forgiving myself of my imperfections and trials-- and a loving husband supporting me all along.
Fast-forward to today-- I am still not a runner and have friends who can run farther and faster than I can even fathom myself ever doing. I don't do anything physically amazing or go around swishing a bunch of 3 pointers in a row. But my ATTITUDE has changed and THAT has made all the difference.
I ran 3 miles this morning and didn't do it in an amazing time but it was MY time. I ran my best and I pushed myself to where I was comfortable. And I am proud of what I did! And now I am comfortable enough that I will SHARE that with you and hopefully inspire you to come out of your comfort zone and do YOUR best at whatever it is you desire to do!! If I can change my self belief, anyone can!
I HAVE A GENUINE BELIEF IN MYSELF AND MY ABILITIES.
WHATEVER I DO I'M GOING TO GIVE IT MY BEST.
EVERYONE ELSE WHO IS DOING WHAT I AM DOING IS DOING THE BEST AS WELL.
I DON'T COMPARE MYSELF TO OTHERS.
EVERYONE IS ON THEIR OWN JOURNEY AND RUNNING THEIR OWN RACE.
I AM SO DIFFERENT THAN EVERYONE OF YOU AND WE ALL HAVE OUR OWN TRIALS AND TRIUMPHS.
WE ARE ALL UNIQUE AND THAT IS SUCH A BLESSING!
LOVE YOURSELF AND BE UNAPOLOGETICALLY YOU!!!
