But first, let me just remind us all before you judge me - having Crohn's is exhausting - mentally, physically, emotionally. It can feel like a struggle for me to get through each day. I've lived with it for 23 years.
So why did I totally lose it on my hubby when he was not feeling well last weekend? He was grumpy, short with me, and on edge most of the day that we were stuck together doing house projects.
Mind you, when Crohn's gets its best of me, I am often times grumpy, short with him and on edge as well. Yet I did not grant him the same grace he offers me, week after week, year after year, living life with a Crohnie.
Instead, I made him feel less than. I compared. Yes, the dreaded "oh you have a headache, backache and a little tired? Try feeling like a knife is being dragged through your intestines. Try feeling like you cannot possibly get out of your chair from exhaustion - daily".
Yes, I went there.
Sigh.
We've worked through it, hugged it out, and are ok now. Lessons learned - the joys of marriage are in constantly fine tuning ourselves and each other.
Dear ones, we know our secret and shared burdens with Crohn's. Outsiders will simply never truly understand. They can't. But that's ok.
And lest we forget, our closest loved ones do understand our pain and struggles. They lovingly choose not to remind us how much we need from our partners who lovingly provide. Let's try passing on that grace and biting our tongues when we feel like playing the "I feel worse than you" game.
Crohnies unite!