Crohn's and Drinking, Crohn's and Sex - Both Can make for Funny Crohn's Stories for Comedian Ben Morrison

Funny interview I saw on Healthtalk...Comedian and Crohn's Patient Ben Morrison. If you read this blog, then be sure to check out the highlights of the interview below. A link to the full transcript is at the end id you enjoy. Comedian Ben Morrison broaches touchy subjects of sex and crohn's disease, drinking and Crohn's and more. Pretty good stories and jokes on the not so funny subject of Crohn's Disease

Rick:And you mean drinking alcohol?

Mr. Morrison:Yeah. I mean, if we are being honest right here especially for dating, what do you do on a date? You go to a bar. So that's part of the equation too, as far as what people do on dates, what can and can't you do and how will that affect it. I have vivid memories of being back in New York, and a girl that I was seeing was waiting in my bedroom, and we were going to get intimate. And I remember being in the bathroom, and at that point, the obstruction had flared up again like there was a baby in my stomach. I could see it. Whenever I obstruct, I distend, like my stomach sticks out. And moving hurts because, basically 30-some odd feet of intestine above the actual colon is filled, and it ain't going anywhere, so moving hurts.

And, you know, I don't know how you make love, but I like to move around a little bit. And it's kind of difficult when, (a) you are worried about farting. When you jostle enough, it's going to happen. And, (b), you're like I don't really know if I can enjoy this much when I feel like I have ten extra pounds in me. So I remember being in the bathroom just on the can just hoping I can get something out so I could enjoy this night of sex.

Rick: When it comes to communication, Ben, do you think that men and women communicate differently and that it might be especially tough for men?

Mr. Morrison: For women, it is tough. I know for a fact it is, because guys at the very least have the benefit of punching their best friend in the arm and farting on his face, which is really fun. I love it. It's a lot of fun to do. And any guy knows that. Girls don't.

I don't even think the girls fart. I mean, I know they do. I don't really hear it much. I know it must happen. But that puts them, unfortunately, at a definite conversational disadvantage because there is no societal, accepted humorous way to even tell that, “Oh, hey, that was me. You might want to leave the room for the next ten minutes.”

So yeah, it makes it more difficult. But I swear to you if I met a girl who has Crohn's or whatever, and just was hanging out with me and just went like, “Man, you would not believe what I did to that toilet,” I think I would be in love, you know. The confidence that shows is huge, and confidence is everything in the world, at least as far as your advancement in it.

Rick: But what about that urge to immediately go?

Mr. Morrison:If that is when they cut out your ileum, then yeah, I have had it. But as far as external accoutrements, no.
But the need to go, my answer to that is pretty clear. Go to the bathroom right before walking in the bedroom. Like if you are on the bed and start kissing and clothes start coming off, say, look into her eyes and say I will be right back. And then run in the bathroom, brush your teeth, smell better than when you left, and use the bathroom so you know that whatever might be residing in your colon ain't. So if you feel like you have to go, it doesn't matter. Nothing is going to come out because there's nothing there. So, you know, worry less about that actual sensation than what would happen if that were an actual problem. Does that make sense?
The thing is, no one really minds you excusing yourself to go to the bathroom. At the risk of getting a little dirty here, they are like, “Oh, he's probably going to go to the bathroom and clean himself up a little bit.” No one minds that. Especially before sex.

Rick:Let's get a question from Washington State. “When you wanted to get intimate with a woman, have you ever had trouble getting an erection because you were so worn out from your symptoms or because you were in pain? And if so, how did you handle the situation?”

Mr. Morrison:Well, that's a tough situation. I've certainly been in that situation. Every guy has. If you haven't, you're lying. I mean if I am distended, like specifically if I'm really bloated, if I am obstructing for a couple days and my stomach begins to push out, I will steer myself away from organizing a wild night of sex. And if you are dating someone - it's not like an I need to perform right now type of thing, wait until the morning. Give yourself a good night's sleep.
And if it's a one-night stand, which I have certainly had, and as long as we are talking about it, that's a much trickier situation, and you might have to bite the bullet and just say, “Look, this isn't going to happen right now.” Can I take care of you?

Full article here: http://www2.healthtalk.com/go/crohns-disease/webcasts/crohn-s-sex-and-intimacy-comedian-ben-morrison-s-guide-for-men-and-the-people-who-love-them/transcripts/3