Case in point - one of my worst flares started less than a week after getting engaged. What should have been one of the happiest times of my life was instead filled with pain, fear, discomfort, and sadness.
Sometimes all we can control is our reaction. It took self-work but I decided to view my post-engagement flare as a blessing. I am an uber-Type A control freak, and I could have easily fallen into the maddening dance of perfection and overkill in my wedding planning like one of those reality tv show crazies. Having a Crohn's flare meant I couldn't get that intense into the planning. I had to learn to accept and downplay. I had to learn to pick my battles. After all, I didn't have the strength to try a thousand dresses or visit a dozen venues. I physically couldn't sample the food of various caterers. I did what I could and enjoyed the simple, special moments.
I found healing a couple months before the big day and had a beautiful wedding.
Fast forward 4 years later!
Recently my husband and I opted for a quick birthday getaway in Charlottesville, Virginia. We knew it would be in the midst of the Joaquin weather front. We just simply needed to get away for a laundry list of reasons. In the midst of soaking winds and rains, we found laughter and a sense of freedom. It reminded me of Crohn's - how wind-soaked and tornadic it can sweep into our lives. Choosing to dance in the rain - choosing to practice your wedding dance in a flare - takes back a sense of control in uncontrollable circumstances.
My wish to each of you is you find that eye in the storm of your flares. Know that this too shall pass. And we are standing by cheering you on.
Crohnies unite!